You find yourself cringing when you need to say it to someone. Your mind immediately goes into explanation mode. Your heart is beating out of your chest and your anxiety is at an all time high.
That’s it. The word is ‘no’. And guess what? You’re allowed to say it.
You’re allowed to say it because you mean it. You’re allowed to say it just because. You’re even allowed to say it with no explanation what-so-ever.
Did you know you have the freedom? And if we have such freedom why is saying ‘no’ so terrifying?
Because we’re conditioned to say yes. We’re conditioned to think that saying no is mean and wrong. We’re conditioned to let people walk all over our boundaries and you’re just supposed to suck it up when you’re tired or when your heart is not in it. You’re conditioned to feel bad when you say no.
You’ve got to understand that you’re allowed to say no and that if there is anyone in your life who is going to hold that against you … then you may need to take an inventory on who you’re calling ‘friend’.
I get it – we do sacrifice for those we love. I have totally showed up somewhere when I’d rather be in my stretchy clothes, all for the sake of supporting someone I love, but there is a balance and YOU are in control of when you say yes.
‘No’ is allowed in healthy relationships without guilt and without hefty explanations. If you have to lie to someone you love in order to say no to them, ask yourself why?
Is it because of fear? Are they going to yell? Are they going to unfriend you?
I was mentoring someone who told me if she said no that her friends would talk about her behind her back. I asked her why she would ever want to be friends with people who she knows will talk about her behind her back if they can’t control her? She was at a loss for words. She wasn’t sure … but she was in so much bondage she couldn’t just move on from them.
She’s not the only one. I hear from people all the time with the same problems. I also lived this way for MANY years until I realized I was a prisoner to people and didn’t have to be.
Want to know who really cares about you? Start saying no and watch how people react. You don’t have to be ugly and you can even offer a brief explanation especially since this will be unexpected and odd behavior to some folks. If people react nasty, simply ask them why they’re having that reaction and take note of their response.
You can’t be angry and resentful towards people who you haven’t set boundaries with. It’s not their fault. They’re not just going to all of a sudden respect your space.
Ask God to give you courage as you practice saying no. Be sensitive to The Holy Spirit and He will keep you balanced and help you say no with the right heart. Jesus truly makes us brave and helps us conquer even these types of challenges in our lives.
You have the right to say no. You have a right to set loving, healthy boundaries. Throw off everything that hinders, and by everything … even being afraid to say no… and run the race, girl!
You are dearly loved!
Have you taken advantage of our FREE 8 week course on setting boundaries!? This course is packed with tools, tips, and encouragement to help you break free! It’s on me for a limited time so go get yours today!
Cheers to walking in freedom!
Be sure to check out the Point Her Journey Project here: www.pointherjourney.com