Sinking

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Some of you may know that my son, Sway, is journeying through Sensory Processing Disorder.  Today I decided to swing by the touchless car wash with Sway aboard.  Bad idea!

Sway is a sensory seeker, meaning he loves to be rowdy and free.  He jumps, runs, hits, stomps, rolls around.  He loves to rough-house.  However, he does not like to be surrounded by a lot of people, noise, and unfamiliar or large objects.  For example – when a semi truck pulls up next to us in the car he freaks out.  He is literally terrified!

So today I went through the car wash.  I drove in and put the car in park.  As the water started pouring on the car Sway started to freak out.  He was strapped into his carseat so I turned around and tried to talk to him and make him feel more comfortable.  His face was heartbreaking.  He started crying and screaming.  He was so uncomfortable and anxious.  As I rubbed his leg and told him everything was okay and it would all be over soon, I had this image of how God is with us.

I could see that we were safe.  I could see that we were in a car wash.  I knew the end would come and we would drive off to continue on with our day.  Sway on the other hand – Sway was stuck in the moment.  He was strapped in a carseat and couldn’t escape. He felt uncomfortable and unsure of his environment.  Sway wanted out! He wanted to be rescued and feel secure again.

I’m his mom.  I would not put him in harms way.  I knew the outcome and even though Sway loves me and trusts me, he was so focused on the feelings of discomfort and the lack of safety around him that he couldn’t focus on me long enough to find comfort.  Sway couldn’t hear me consoling him. My touch was empty to him.  He couldn’t feel me near.

This is such a picture of us with God.  He is so near and wants to talk us through our fears but when we freak out we lose sight of his face.  We then feel alone and forsaken.

Do you know what I’m talking about?  I write things that I need to read and this is speaking to my heart!

I feel like I can trust God so much at times.  I feel like nothing could knock my faith down.  I feel like I can move mountains.  But for some reason when fear comes knocking and catches me off guard, it’s so much easier to focus on my feelings than on Jesus.  That doesn’t change who Jesus is …  He’s still there … He’s still holding on to me.  He is faithful and wants us to look him in the eye and focus on him.

When Jesus showed up walking on water, Peter was able to walk on water too – as long as he kept his eyes on Jesus.  As soon as Peter started to doubt, he started to sink.

Sway was sinking today.  When everything was cool, calm, and collective my baby boy was good.  As soon as something uncomfortable arrived, something he didn’t understand, something that intimidated him, he lost his bearings.  His feelings trumped the reality that his mama was right in front of him and everything was okay.

I noticed while I was trying to console him he would not look at me.  He was too focused on the “scary” things around.  Sway would not take his eyes off of the components of the car wash.  If Sway would have looked at me and listened intently, the car wash would have faded away to him.

Isn’t that crazy how this relates to our lives?  When we pull our eyes off of Jesus and focus on all the scary stuff around us, his voice gets faint and our feelings of fear consume us.  We start sinking.

Praise God that he’s faithful to reach out his hand and save us … over and over again.

I pray that this message helps to shift your perspective from your circumstances to Jesus.  He’s got you.  He’s always had you.

Matthew 14:25-31

25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.

27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

29 “Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said,“why did you doubt?”

Love to you!

April

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