I’ve been wanting to write about this for a while but really didn’t know how to put my words together to make sense out of this. This topic is also very sensitive and the last thing I want to do is come off as rude or insensitive. So I’ll start with these disclaimers:
- I speak from my own experiences. I am no expert. There will always be someone smarter than me who knows more than me and I’m cool with that.
- I do not want to offend anyone so please know my heart that if I do rub you the wrong way it is not on purpose.
- My purpose through blogging is always to encourage you. A shift in perspective can change everything. I cannot tell you how many times I have read something that pointed my eyes back to Jesus and left me hopeful.
With that said …
This letter is to the suicidal person reading it. If you’re reading this you’re still alive. You may not feel like it. You may be numb as can be and this may be your last attempt to find hope and a reason as to why you just shouldn’t end it all. Let me just tell you that I know how you feel. I know that you think you’re alone and no one understands. I know that you think you’re a burden and a let down. I know you feel like everyone is tired of hearing you complain. I know that the sound of death is not even scary anymore – it actually sounds relieving.
If you have kids, I know that you love them. I know that when you’re contemplating suicide you’re not doing it out of selfish reasons in your mind. You’re thinking it will set everyone free including yourself. Everyone will have such a better life without you around. Every day is complete torture to you. When you open your eyes in the morning it’s painful. Each second of the day feels like hours. I know what you’re going through. I know what this feels like.
There is hope for you. Do you believe that? I honestly don’t know what else I could say if you don’t believe that. I could give you a pep talk all day long but if you don’t believe it then I’m only offering void words.
Jesus is with you and will deliver you. Do you believe that? Do you know the word of God? When is the last time you went to church? You can come sit beside me at church this Sunday! No – church doesn’t save you … but man oh man! Listening to an anointed pastor speak about Jesus can sure change your perspective and even set you up to encounter a fresh awakening from The Lord.
Are you living with an addiction? Have you gone to treatment? Do you want treatment? Do you want help?
Go here: Addiction Campuses you can live chat with someone! They will help you to see what your options are for getting treatment.
If you are struggling and suffering, reach out. You cannot do what you’ve always done and expect different results. I’m sure you’re at a place now where you realize your way is not working or else you wouldn’t be looking for a way out, right?
You matter! You are significant. People love you. Jesus loves you unconditionally. God knew you and had a plan for your life before you were even conceived. Do you believe that? Do you want to believe that?
A pep talk is only going to be a glimmer of hope for a moment. If you decide to go through with ending it all you leave a huge hole in the hearts of those around you. They hurt and they hurt bad. They beat themselves up for what they should have done differently but what they fail to see is that if you didn’t want the help – there is nothing they could have ever done for you.
Whoever you are – I love you. Whether I know you or not, you’re a life with a purpose. You’re a person that matters and you have huge impact in the lives of others. They love you and they will miss you terribly.
There is a void in your heart that cannot be filled. That’s you searching for Jesus. Have you tried everything and felt the temporary relief only to return to void again? Yup. You’re searching for Jesus. So if you’ve tried everything else, why not treatment? Why not Jesus?
If you’re like me – I wasn’t addicted to drugs but I did have Jesus. I was so confused as to why I would think to end my life when I loved Jesus, knew He loved me, and yet still felt despair. Again, I don’t have all the answers but I hoped and I knew that the word of God was true and real no matter how I felt. I chose to believe Him even when I didn’t feel it. This life can get really hard. I have friends right now that feel like they can’t take anymore and then they get a little more. Guess what? They carry it and it’s painful and it’s hard but they pick it up. God always comes through and lifts the burden. Always!
I love this scripture from The Message for 1 Peter 5:10
1 Peter 5:10-11The Message (MSG)
He Gets the Last Word
8-11 “Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You’re not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It’s the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won’t last forever. It won’t be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does.”
Have you ever seen someone so strong regardless of what life throws at them? We all know those people. We get glimpses into their heartaches and troubles and yet they push on with a smile on their face. Don’t for a second think that they are stronger than you or that their road is less tough than yours. Life can just flat out suck sometimes!
I was delivered from the pit because I kept on believing and I kept on moving forward even when the pain felt unbearable. … or at least that’s what I kept doing and eventually was set free.
This could just be a bunch of rambling. I don’t know. But if this is the final thing you read before you go through with your decision … at least I had an opportunity to share my heart with you. Still not convinced? I dare you to call out to Jesus. What do you have to lose if you’re going to end it anyway? Call out to Jesus and ask him to reveal himself to you. He already sees you just as you are and loves you just like that, right where you are.
What if he doesn’t answer? …. Oh! But what if he does?
I beg you to choose hope. Choose to believe. Choose life. Choose Jesus.
You are loved more than you could ever know.